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Ok, time to get back into writing...

hi.

talk to me?

i'm happy.

but incredibly bored.

so comment please.

baaaaaaai.

:)

hey everyone whats up? ok yeah um this is my first time on something like this...so yeah.

Weight, only 5 pounds down from beginning, still no indicator of progress but fit of clothes and appearance moreso.� Should have done measurements at the beginning but will remember to do when 30 day mark hits.�

Usual morning routine.� Running a bit behind on my morning snack at the moment.

Got a pair of pants buttoned with ease that I had to suck in to wear for quite some time now.� Stomach beginning to flatten out a bit but still a very apparent layer of fat.

Typical Sunday in that normalizing diet and eating times is especially rough on the weekends.

i raelly miss him so much do u ever get over the loss of someone u love so much??? i should have never gotten married in the first place before i dealt with the loss of jon i loved him more than anything and we were happy together then all my happiness and joy was stolen from me when jon tragicaly commited suicide. i don't think it ever get's easier although people try to tell u it does i just wish it didn't hurrt sooo bad but hopefully someday i can get over all the pain and the hurt and the feelings� of how he'll never get to see his daughter god please help me i miss him sooooo much he's always in my thoughts and i always wonder what might have been !!! does the pain ever stop??? should i have gotten some kind of grief counceling??? now how do i tell his daughter about him the daughter he wanted more than anything and the daughter he never knew he had because i found out i was pregnant 3 weeks after his funeral i reallly and trully wanted to die from the pain of loosing him and even though it's been since dec 03 since he died it's still not any easier i love jon soooooooooooo much someone help me please im going crazy i should love my husband lke he loves me but i can't why why cant i love him the way he's meant to be loved is it because i can't let go and go on??????????????

Up around 8.� Did the 40 minute sweat and abs routine and then had a breakfast of 4 egg whites.� Went out for a 25 mile bike ride on the trail and mid ride stopped and had a 30 gram protein bar and a bottle of iced star bucks coffee.� Killed a 20 oz bottle of water on the return trip.� While I still struggle with parts of the workout and it winds me at points I'm feeling the difference in my lats, arms and shoulders.� The slow and frustrating part will definitely be waiting for the layer of fat to burn away to reveal the muscle I'm building.� From progress pictures I've seen at beachbody.com it would seem that begins to become visible starting around the 60 day mark so I've still got about 7 weeks to go.� Since I'm out of town two days next week and my eating/exercise will not be on task I'll not be counting those two days in this chronology.